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Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Awesomely Bizarre Alibaba EV of the Week: A $7,000 armored golf cart?


What would you get when you created the illegitimate love youngster of a Mercedes G-Wagon and a Brinks armored truck (and maybe if the Mercedes chain-smoked via the being pregnant)? I believe you’d wind up with one thing just like the wacky-looking electrical cart that has earned the doubtful honor of being named this week’s Awesomely Bizarre Alibaba Electrical Car of the Week!

I’m undecided that is precisely an armored golf cart, so I wouldn’t invite any pointless potshots whereas cruising your hood, however I’m at a lack of how else to explain it.

It’s positively not a “actual” automobile, as evidenced by its US $6,999 price ticket and the 30 km/h (18 mph) high velocity. In case you ask me although, that velocity goes within the ‘benefits’ column. Once you drive one thing that appears this good, you wish to be going gradual sufficient to present folks a superb, lengthy look.

A car like that is designed to ship a press release. Sadly, I believe that assertion is perhaps, “I wished a Jeep however my partner wished to rework the kitchen.”

So if it’s not an actual automobile, then what’s it?

Measuring a stubby 306 cm lengthy (a complete half inch over 10 ft), this four-seater mini-SUV is much less G-Wagon and extra “Oh, gee” wagon. It may possibly supposedly carry as much as 370 kg (815 lb) in passengers or cargo, however there’s no telling how a lot of a dent that places within the already challenged high velocity.

Security may additionally be a passing concern. It doesn’t have any seatbelts, however the tires appear to be they simply about lengthen out previous the entrance and rear, so not less than you’ve obtained some good shock-absorbent bumpers constructed into the design.

The commercial claims a most vary of as much as 80 km (50 miles) per cost, which looks as if a number of extra miles than anybody wants from one thing like this.

There’s no phrase on battery expertise, which implies I’m assuming both options older lead acid tech or there’s a frunk filled with lemons and a bunch of free wires working via the firewall.

I’m glad to see that the roof rack is not less than outfitted with sufficient LED lights to make an airport runway jealous, simply in case I discover myself caught within the wilds of my yard after darkish. And that roof rack even appears fairly heavy-duty, although because the cart is significantly taller than it’s huge, tight turns with a heavily-loaded roof rack ought to in all probability be averted.

As a lot as I really like this factor, I don’t suppose I’ll be whipping out my bank card any time quickly.

Don’t get me improper, I’ve purchased loads of unhealthy concepts on Alibaba earlier than. However since my $2,000 electrical truck ending up costing me almost 4x that a lot by the point it landed within the US, I’m a bit fearful what the ultimate price ticket on a $6,999 Mini-MegaOverlander would turn out to be.

I don’t suggest anybody truly attempt shopping for this cute little TinyTrailblazer both, and I’m actually not vouching for the seller, who I found by likelihood whereas scrolling via Alibaba to procrastinate actual work. Remember the fact that that is all a part of a tongue-in-cheek column I write, diving into the depths of Alibaba’s bizarre and humorous assortment of superior electrical autos.

However hey, if somebody does go that route, it wouldn’t be the primary time my recommendation has been ignored and a few superior images have landed in inbox a number of months later. Simply don’t say I didn’t warn you if it seems some Nigerian prince has your final paycheck and also you’re up a creek with no MicroMudder to come back bail you out!

When your native HOA lastly will get its personal tactical response unit

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